All the World's a Stage
by korvascus
Summary: When Fonzi and the gang notices there are no toilets in the bathroom at Arnold's, it's only the first sign that all is not as it seems in their 'Happy' little world.
1. Chapter 1

Arthur "Fonzi" Fonzarelli was in the bathroom at Arnold's combing his hair in the mirror when a sudden wave of nausea overcame him. He rushed for one of the stalls and threw the door open, only to discover that the toilet was missing. The stall was completely empty, just the tiled floor of the bathroom.

Thankfully, the nausea had passed by this point, but now Fonzi was a might confused. It didn't look as if a toilet had ever been there. But that was crazy; he had used this toilet plenty of times. He walked into the stall to take a closer look, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He even went so far as to bend down to better examine the floor.

"Hey Fonz, whatcha doing?"

The voice startled him so much he jumped and spun around.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," His best friend Richie Cunningham said.

"What happened to the toilet?" he asked Richie.

"Huh?" Richie asked as he took a long suck from the straw sticking out of the soda he had in his hand.

"The toilet's gone," Fonzi said, indicating the empty stall.

"So it is," Richie said looking at the indicated space. "That's okay though. I don't think I've ever needed to use it. Come on, the burgers are ready."

Fonzi followed Richie out of the bathroom. Now that Richie had mentioned it, he couldn't recall having ever used the toilet himself. But that was ridiculous; he spent so much time here he must have used it before. But try as he might, he couldn't even remember what color the toilet was.

He was feeling slightly concerned for his sanity when he slid into the booth next to Richie. Ralph Malph and "Potsie" Webber were across the table from them.

"Hey Fonz, why do you look so down?" Ralph asked him as he took a bite of his burger.

That snapped Fonzi out of it. He couldn't allow his friends to see him vulnerable.

"Just thinking, Donny," he said as he took a bite of his own burger.

"What did you call me?" Ralph asked.

Fonzi was now really confused. For a second he could have sworn that his friends' name was Donny "I, uh…" He tried to save face in front of his friends, but he was failing miserably. "I don't know," he said at last.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Ralph asked, this time with real concern in his voice.

"Something just feels a bit off today that's all," he replied.

"What like you're sick or something?" Potsie asked.

"I can't quite explain it, more like something's off with the world."

"What do you mean?" Potsie asked.

"Well, for instance, the toilet in the men's room is gone."

"Was there ever one in there?" Ralph asked.

"What do you mean? Where do you pee?" Fonzi shot back irritated.

Ralph paused to consider this. But before he could say anything Potsie spoke up. "Maybe some music will cheer you up Fonzi."

Fonzi felt like music wouldn't do a damn thing, but he felt he was beginning to concern his friends, so he figured he'd give it a try it.

Getting up he went over to the jukebox and gave it his customary whack. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing.

He looked down at his hand and then back at the jukebox. That cut it; something was definitely wrong here. He turned around to look at his friends and they were all staring at him open-mouthed.

"You must be sick Fonzi," Richie said to him.

"Yeah," Ralph added. "I don't think I've ever seen that not work for you before."

"Maybe I should go home and lay down," Fonzi said as he grabbed for his wallet to pay for his food.

What came out though was not his wallet. It was a wallet, but not his.

"What's wrong now Fonz?" Richie asked when he saw the strange look Fonzi was giving the wallet.

"This is not my wallet," he said.

"That's strange," Richie said. "Whose is it?"

Fonzi fished out the driver's license and looked at it. It was his own mug smiling back at him but the name was Henry Winkler, it was a California license, not a Wisconsin one, and the expiration date was 1979, more than twenty years away from the current date.

"Well?" Richie asked him.

"Take a look," Fonzi said and tossed him the License.

"Henry Winkler," Richie read out loud. "He looks just like you."

"A long lost twin brother?" Ralph asked jokingly.

"Check the expiration date," Fonzi said.

"1979!" Richie exclaimed.

Suddenly Fonzi had a thought. "Hey guys take out your wallets."

"What?" Potsie and Ralph asked at the same time.

"Just do it," Fonzi demanded.

After they complied he asked them, "Are those your wallets?"

"I'm not sure," Ralph said as he looked at his.

"I don't think so," Potsie said confusedly.

"Look at the Drivers licenses," Fonzi continued.

"Anson Williams," said Potsie.

"Ronald Howard," Richie said.

"Donald Most," Ralph read his. "Hey," Ralph said. "You called me Donny a moment ago. Is this some sort of trick you're playing on us Fonz?" he asked nervously, as if hoping that was all that it really was, for he was beginning to get scared.

All of a sudden Richie's head popped up as realization dawned in his eyes. "There's no toilet in the bathroom!"

"No toilet in the bathroom!" Ralph and Potsie echoed.

And just like that, the three of them jumped up and raced into the bathroom.

A moment later they came back to the table, confusion and consternation in their eyes.

Richie was the first to voice their concerns. "What the heck is going on here?"


	2. Chapter 2

Twenty minutes later, the four of them were back in Richie's living room. It was three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and Joanie was at a friends' house, while Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham were at an all day Leopard Lodge meeting.

"So there are no bathrooms at Arnold's and our wallets are not our own. What's the connection?" Richie stated.

"Not just that," Ralph added. "Fonzi couldn't get the jukebox working.

"This is all so surreal," Potsie said softly.

"I'd think better if I had some food in my stomach," Fonzi said. "I didn't eat much of my burger. Say Ritchie, do you still have any of your mom's apple pie from yesterday?"

"No, my dad accidentally knocked it on the floor so we had to chuck it."

Ralph sat bolt upright at this. "Chuck!" he practically screamed.

"What?" Richie asked.

"Richie, you have an older brother named Chuck!"

"What are you taking about Ralph, no I do-," Richie trailed off. "Oh my gosh, you're right, I do."

"What are you going on about?" Fonzi inquired.

"Fonz, do you remember my older brother Chuck?"

Fonzi thought for a second. "Yeah, I think I do. Tall guy, likes to play basketball. What ever happened to him?"

Richie jumped off the couch and raced upstairs.

"Where ya' going?" Potsie asked as they all ran after him.

They found Richie standing by a door next to the bathroom looking very nervous.

"What's up?" Fonzi asked.

"This door," Richie began, "I must walk by it several times every day, but I don't think I've ever really been consciously aware of it. I don't think anyone else does either. It's almost as if it's not really there."

"What is it?" Fonzi asked.

"Yeah," Potsie said. "I've been up her enough times and I don't remember it being here."

"Me either," Ralph agreed.

"It's my brother Chuck's room."

Richie tentatively turned the knob and opened the door. A musty smell assailed their nostrils, as Richie flipped the light switch. The room was covered in a thick layer of dust. No one had been here for years.

"Did he die?" Ralph asked quietly.

"No, at least I don't think so," Richie replied. "I don't quite remember what happened to him. I'll ask my parents when they get home."

"Don't you guys find it a little strange," Fonzi began, "that Richie has a brother we all forgot about until a minute ago, and that there's a room here that none of us were even aware of, even though it's not hidden and we've all walked past it countless times?"

"What does it all mean?" Potsie asked.

"I feel like there's an answer here somewhere," Fonzi replied. "I feel like there's something I'm not remembering, something hiding at the back of my brain, and if I could only remember it we'd have the answer."

"Yeah, Fonz," Richie said, "Me too. A few minutes ago I got the wisp of a thought before it slipped away. I felt that if only I could grasp it…" he trailed off. "Hey," he said as he started walking over to the night table by Chuck's bed. "I've been looking for this watch for years." He picked it up and blew the dust off of it, and then glanced around the room. "I wonder what else is in here."

Just then they heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. A moment later the front door opened.

They went into the hallway and saw Marion helping Howard up the stairs. He looked quite ill.

"Mom," Richie asked concernedly. "Is dad okay?"

"Just some food poisoning dear. He'll be fine with a little rest."

As she started walking him to their bedroom Richie walked up to her.

"Mom, can I ask you a question real quick."

"What is it dear?"

"What ever happened to Chuck?"

"Who dear?" Marion said as she reached for the doorknob.

"My older brother Chuck?"

"Richie, your father's not feeling well. Now is not the time for jokes."

And with that she walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind her, leaving a stunned Richie in the hallway.

He turned to his friends. "I don't think she remembers him either."

"I wonder if I have any siblings that I don't remember?" Potsie asked worriedly.

"Maybe a cute sister," Ralph said jokingly despite the gravity of the situation.

This got him a glare from Fonzi. "Sorry," Ralph said sheepishly.

"Look guys," Fonzi said after a moment. I don't think we're actually in any danger here, but I'm not 100 percent sure. And at any rate, we're going to need to figure out just what it is that's off if we're going to try and fix it."

"Maybe they're talking about it on the radio," Potsie suggested.

"That's a good idea," Fonzi replied as they all made their way downstairs to the radio in the living room.

After listening to an ad for a new restaurant in town and one for a specific brand of soda pop, the news came on. But of all things, they were talking about bird migrations.

"It doesn't seem like anyone else is aware of it," Richie finally said.

"No it doesn't," Fonzi agreed as he turned the radio back off.

"So what do we do," Ralph asked.

"Maybe we could try finding something out about these guys whose wallets we have," Richie said.

"Hey, yeah," Potsie said enthusiastically. "Maybe they'll know what's going on."


	3. Chapter 3

"Yes ma'am, thank you."

"Well?" Ritchie asked earnestly as Fonzi hung up the phone.

"The only Henry Winkler is a 12 year old boy living in New York City."

"So just like the other one, he's only a boy." Richie said dejectedly. They had been on the kitchen phone for almost an hour enquiring about their doppelgangers. Ronald Howard didn't seem to exist, there were too many Williams' to track down anyone named Anson, and they had managed to get Donny himself on the phone, but when they had started asking him about the weird situation they found themselves in, he had started crying. Then his mother had pulled the phone away from him and started yelling at them before angrily hanging up.

"But how can that be?" Ralph enquired. "They have driver's licenses. They have to be at least old enough to drive."

"Remember the expiration dates?" Potsie said.

"Are you suggesting these guys are from the future?" Ralph asked.

"I don't think they are," Richie said. "They're clearly here right now as kids. Although perhaps their future selves are here as well."

"What, and they just slipped their wallets into our pockets when we weren't looking?" Ralph exclaimed.

Fonzi, who had been quiet up till this point, suddenly spoke up. "They look exactly like us."

The other three all looked at Fonzi as he spoke.

"They have our faces, we have their wallets, and the expiration dates don't make sense."

"What are you getting at?" Richie asked.

"I don't know yet, but it's beginning to freak me out," Fonzi admitted.

Suddenly Potsie pulled the wallet out and began looking through it.

"What are you doing?" Richie asked.

"I wanna see what else is in here."

"Good idea," Richie said. "I don't know why we didn't think of that earlier."

The four of them began rifling through their wallets to see what they could find. Aside from money, which was apparently also from 20 years in the future, they found a few receipts and something else that was really strange.

"Paramount?" Ralph asked in astonishment as he pulled a card out of his wallet.

Richie, Fonzi and Potsie were all pulling out identical cards from there wallets.

"Why do we have regular passes to a movie lot in California?" Potsie asked incredulously as he stared at the small picture of what looked like himself that adorned the card.

"You mean why do our 'doubles have them?" Ralph asked.

"People who look like us," Richie started mumbling, "and have passes to a movie studio. There are no toilets in the bathroom at Arnolds', and Chuck disappeared like he was written out of the script… Written out of the script!" Richie suddenly shouted as realization dawned. "These guys," he said to the others as he held up the paramount card, "are actors in a television show. And they're playing us! We're characters in that show and our lives are nothing but a script written by some writer."

"Richie's gone off the deep end," Ralph said as they all looked at their friend with worry on their faces.

"Oh no, I'd say he's quite sane," a male voice said from the living room. They looked up at the voice and saw a tall middle aged man standing there. "Quite sane and quite right in fact. I must congratulate you." The man started clapping his hands as he approached them. "I wasn't sure you would figure it out at all, let alone so quickly. Although I knew that if anyone did, it would be you Richie."

"Wh- Who are you?" Richie stammered as the man stepped into the kitchen. "What are you doing in my house?"

"My name is Gary Marshall," the man said sagely. "I'm the creator."


	4. Chapter 4

"What the heck does that mean, 'The Creator'?" Potsie asked with some venom in his voice. "And how'd you get in here?"

"That's it, I'm calling the cops," Fonzi said as he reached for the phone.

"Call the cops if you want," Gary said as he stared at them. "But if you do, you'll never figure out what's been happening to you. Why there are no toilets at Arnold's. Why Richie suddenly remembers his brother Chuck. Why you all have someone else's wallets in your pockets."

Fonzi froze with the receiver halfway to his ear. Slowly, he put it down all the while glaring daggers at Gary. And then with a voice as cold as an arctic winter he asked "are you responsible for that?"

"In a manner of speaking," came Gary's reply. Then he paused, glancing at the couch for a moment. "Perhaps you better sit down. This might be a little hard to swallow."

Richie, Ralph and Potsie started towards the couch, but stopped suddenly when Fonzi slapped his hand down on the counter loudly. "I think we're fine where we are, right Cunningham?"

"Uh yeah, yeah that's right."

"Suit yourself," Gary responded.

"Now like I said, this may be a little hard to accept, but before I say anything, keep in mind that it was never my intention to cause anyone any harm. You see, I'm a producer in Hollywood. Right now I'm working on a television show called 'Happy Days'. It's about a family in 1950's Milwaukee, Wisconsin." Gary trailed off. "I think you guys know where I'm going with this."

"Are you trying to tell us that we're characters in a fictional television show?" Ralph asked incredulously.

"That's one way to look at it. But look at it this way. I propose that you're just as real as I am. You, your family and friends, this house and everything else here. You're just residing in a slightly parallel reality to my own. Yours has always existed independently from my own until I wrote a script for a television show that exactly described your reality. Then the two became connected, if only tenuously."

"That sounds like a load of bull," Potsie said somewhat defensively.

"I would have never believed it myself," Gary agreed, "if not for my being here and seeing it myself."

"And just how did you get here?" Fonzi asked.

"With this," Gary said as he with dramatic flair whipped something out of his shirt pocket.

It appeared to be a golden movie ticket. Slightly larger than a typical one, and with a bit of… strangeness to it. It looked perhaps like it might be smirking at them, as if it were privy to some deep cosmic secret, one that it found mildly funny. If such things could be said about inanimate objects.

"What is it?" Richie asked.

"I'm not quite sure," Gary admitted. "It looks like a movie ticket, but I have my doubts. I've never seen a movie ticket that can transport its bearer to another dimension.

"I bought it in Nepal from an old man at an outdoor market. He said that it was one of only two in existence. That it was a gateway to another world. I didn't believe a word he was saying of course, but I thought it might look good framed on my wall, so I figured what the heck. He was only asking the equivalent of six dollars anyway."

Gary could see that Ralph was about to ask a question, but he cut him off with a hand gesture.

"So I stuffed it in my bag and forgot about it completely. That was six months ago. The other day I found it and put it in my wallet, intending to get it framed after work today. Once we were done with the day's filming, I decided to review some of yesterday's footage before heading out. Things seemed weird right from the get go. Rather than seeing the footage I was expecting, I saw what you guys have been going through this afternoon. At first, I though it was some sort of weird prank, but I was intrigued, so I kept on watching. All of a sudden, I feel the hairs standing up on the back of my neck and my wallet starts emitting this high frequency whine. When I pulled it out, I saw that the ticket was visibly crackling with energy. I removed it from my wallet to take a better look and it started sparking in my hand. Before I had a chance to do anything else it lit up like the sun completely blinding me, and when I was able to see again I found myself here."

"So that's it?" Richie asked. "You expect us to believe that?"

"It's the truth."

"That's about as bogus as me becoming the next president." Richie said.

"No that's as bogus as Ralph becoming the next president," Potsie said.

"Hey," Ralph protested. "I could be president."

"Maybe president of the clown club," Potsie snorted.

"Guys, guys," Fonzie interrupted without taking his eyes off Gary. "Let's say for arguments sake that what you say is true. I still don't see how that explains what's been happening. I mean toilets don't just disappear. And for that matter, neither do people. How is it possible that we all just forgot about Chuck Cunningham?"

"I haven't had too much time to think about that," Gary admitted, "But I do think I might have a theory." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "When our two realities started to intersect, thanks to this ticket, I think my conceptions about your reality started to bleed through. Your reality seems to be slightly 'subservient' -for lack of a better word- to mine, and this allowed my thoughts to have a tangible impact on it.

"Like I said, to me until very recently, this was all just a TV show. I know that people don't generally go to the bathroom on TV, it's just not done. So your toilets disappeared. And Chuck Cunningham wasn't doing anything for the ratings, so we got rid of him, and now he's disappeared. Not just physically, but from your memories as well it would seem."

A snarl appeared on Richie's face and he charged Gary. "What do you mean got rid of him!" he yelled, fist raised to strike.

"It was just a TV show to us!" Gary said quickly, raising his hands to defend himself. "Nobody thought it was real! We didn't mean any harm by it!"

This seemed to placate Richie somewhat. He was still seething with barely contained rage, but he had at least lowered his fist and taken a step back.

"So you're saying that you're being here is screwing with our reality," Fonzi clarified.

"I think so, yeah," Gary agreed.

"Then go away," Fonzi said simply.

"I'm not quite sure I know how," Gary admitted sheepishly.

"Well then let me give you a hand," Fonzi said as he approached Gary.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Gary protested as Fonzi took a hold of his arm and started roughly walking him towards the front door. "This isn't going to help. As long as I'm still _anywhere_ in your reality things won't return to normal."

"That may be so," Fonzi agreed as he opened the front door of the Cunningham house. "But if you are gonna spend a little more time in our reality, it certainly don't have to be spent in this house."

And with those words, Gary found himself cast out into the street, the front door slamming behind him.

"Huh," he said aloud with a slightly bemused expression on his face. "Not the reception I was expecting."

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry to say, this story is on indefinite hiatus due to a lack of ideas on where to take it. At some point in the future I might continue it, but for now, I'll leave it here. At any rate this certainly is a legitimate ending point for this story. Conflicts don't always get resolved, and sometimes the character just has to wander off into the sunset, or in this case, the streets of Milwaukee.


End file.
